August 26, 2010
There are so many emotions surrounding this news. First and foremost, we are ecstatic and thankful. We are hopeful (at least my husband is). This could be our last chance to have a boy. We are worried. There is a chance that my husband could lose his job and where would that leave us? We are scared. After giving birth to my last daughter, I had a severe case of postpartum depression, it might have even been postpartum psychosis. No, I never thought of hurting my children, but I did everything in my power to hurt myself and ruin my own life. I'm lucky to still have my family. This lasted a year. It was the worst year of my life, the black year. Perhaps there will be more on that later, I think it's something that should be shared at some point, but for now, let's get back to this new baby.
We are thrilled to be adding another person to our family. Some people think we're crazy and didn't think it though. I don't like hearing "you already have 3, do you really need another" or "don't you think you should focus on the 3 you have", "isn't 3 enough". In the end, it doesn't matter if our house is too small or if our bank account is almost empty. What matters is that we give our children every thing they need to be happy, healthy, kind, caring individuals. What matters is that we give them every bit of love we are capable of and then some. We have so much to give this baby and the 3 we already have, so why shouldn't we?