August 31, 2010
A tale of Postpartum Depression, part one
3 years ago, I gave birth to our second daughter, Kennedy. Afterwards, I started having a little bit of a problem, so we decided to have another baby. So 14months after having Kennedy, I gave birth to Georgia. Let me start by saying that it is not a good idea to try to cure postpartum depression by having another baby. A couple months before I had Kennedy, I had quit my job to stay at home, which is a HUGE adjustment that I could not seem to grasp. I had also spent the better part of 2 years being pregnant and all of a sudden, I wasn't. All of a sudden, I had to figure out how to take care of my house, myself, a preschooler and 2 infants. Overwhelmed seems like a gross understatement.
I knew something was wrong when I had no desire to nurse Georgia. I'm not saying that I had successfully managed to nurse the first 2 girls, but I had at least tried my best. I think I was too exhausted. It had already been a year since I'd had a good night's sleep before I had Georgia and between her and Kennedy, we were getting next to none. In the morning, my husband would go to work and I was left alone with these tiny people who I didn't know how to take care of. It didn't take me long to become resentful. Georgia was a fussy baby. She was always crying and spitting up. We tried so many types of formula for her. We couldn't seem to find one that worked well. I think she was almost 6 months old when we finally settled on one for the next 6 months. It is very hard to play with and cook for 2 children when you spend your day holding a baby who will not stop crying.
Please note that I am writing this story in hopes that it will be helpful to someone. I ask that you understand it is hard for me to think about and even harder to write about. I am not writing this to place blame with anyone, there is no one to blame, and I am not writing this to be judged. Please keep this in mind, should you decide to comment. Thank you.