December 24, 2010

A Lesson In Forgiveness

I need a lesson in forgiveness.  It's Christmastime, and it would be such a good present to give to myself.  I've been trying really hard for a long time to forgive and forget.  I spend a lot of time thinking I have.  I tell myself (and others) that this particular problem doesn't bother me.  It is what it is and I can't do anything about it, and accept it for what it is.  It's easy to lie to myself because I don't notice the pain anymore.  It's no longer a constant stabbing in my side.  Then, all it takes is a word, a mention, a question from one of the kids and the knife will twist and I am reminded that the pain is still there.  I've just been living with it so long that I don't notice it anymore.

I need to fix this problem once and for all.  The fact is that holding on to the pain and the anger isn't hurting anyone but me.  It's time I let it all go and learn to really forgive and forget.  The problem is, that I don't know how.  I don't know where to start.  I know what a lot of you are probably thinking and maybe even going to say.  Though it's an idea I'm slowly getting used to, I'm still not there yet.  I'm considering heading to the self-help section of the library.  Did I really just say that?  I make fun of people who read self-help books (sorry if that includes you). 

I don't know where to start to forgive someone or something I've dealt with for way too long.  I don't want to remedy the situation (trying that would only be more painful at this point).  I just want to move on from it.  It sounds like a great idea, but I am kind of wondering if it can really be done.

2 comments:

  1. It is hard to forgive sometimes...but you are right it is only hurting you...not the person you are needing to forgive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Forgiveness can be difficult. A lot of times I wonder if I am the problem and I should not be searching for HOW to forgive, but maybe it is a mutual problem and I need to change my ways as well.

    ReplyDelete

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