I wish i could be one of those women who make being pregnant look beautiful and mysterious, and elegant. i suppose since i don't have the ability to make anything look good, i shouldn't really expect to make pregnancy look good (or fun). in the end, i'm still just me, not really any fatter (everything has just moved around to the front, making it impossible for my pants to fit), but definitely moodier and with worse skin. right now, the majority of 13 year old boys in the world have better complexions than i do. it's a good thing i'm basically a shut-in, or i'd be pretty embarrassed. actually, it might not be so embarrassing, given the fact that i'm barely recognizable underneath the amount of acne sprouting from my pores.
i was determined this time to not spend an enormous amount of time focusing on being pregnant. i actually don't have the time to focus on it too much. i can't tell you how far along i am to the day, i don't know if i'm craving anything, i'm not tracking my weight, i'm not worried about every little cramp, pull or twinge. it's not that i don't care or that i'm not excited, because i am. this is the fourth time i've done this. i know that i'm healthy, so far, all signs point to a healthy baby, so i just don't see any need for extra concern. i'm more concerned about preparing the others (especially the 2 year old) for the arrival of their new sibling. the last week and a half, though, i have had to focus on it.
i have a headache that started a week ago saturday, on corrina's birthday. we've been so busy, that i had to pretend i wasn't in pain in order to get things done. i have been in pain, though. this isn't just a normal headache, and tylenol doesn't seem to help at all. saturday night, i woke up with a migraine and my headache has gotten worse since the migraine went away. monday, i called the doctor and she prescribed tylenol 3. i took it. it didn't do any good. i could still feel my head pounding through the warm fuzzies i was feeling. later that evening, while i was making dinner, i passed out.
tomorrow, i am heading to the doctor. they believe the problem is my low blood pressure. until friday, i'm supposed to eat a lot of salt, refrain from driving and spend as much time sitting or laying as possible. how in the hell do i have low blood pressure? i eat an amazing amount of salt (i always have). normal people are disgusted by my salt intake. i am overweight. i thought most fat people had high blood pressure. the only exercise i get is every 2 weeks when i go grocery shopping and lugging kids and laundry up and down stairs 10,000 times a day. i am stressed out and high strung and spend a good deal of time yelling. i'm one step away from mainlining caffeine.
i don't understand it. my low blood pressure is a mystery. a mystery that is making me miserable. hopefully, i can get this worked out so i can stop whining and get back to my life as normal. until then, my posting may be more boring than usual and more sporadic. i also think that when i get back to normal, i might spend less time being sentimental and more time complaining. that's what i'm really good at!