March 7, 2011

I Know It's Right

It has been almost a month since I made the decision (along with my doctor) to take medication for anxiety/depression.  Let me start by saying that I already feel so much better.  Steve has even taken the knives from their hiding place.  However, the question of whether or night it was the right decision or the safest decision has been raised. 


This decision is not one that I took lightly.  I know that there are risks involved.  There are risks involved with anything that you take or do during pregnancy.  I had to decide which situation could be potentially more dangerous-taking the medication or not.  I decided that not taking medication would cause a bigger impact and had a higher chance of causing harm to my whole family.  I was seriously reaching the point where I was afraid to leave the house.  How could that turn into anything good?  I know there is no way that situation would be better after I had the baby. 

I'm confident that I made the right decision.  I would love to be someone who isn't affected by chemical and hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy.  I'm not, though.  I'm just glad that I am now someone who understands that I'm not one of those people and can make the right choices to fix it.  I am no longer someone who is afraid to be a person with problems or to ask for help. 

Medications for anxiety/depression aren't magic cure all pills.  I'm not walking around with a permanent smile fixed to my face.  Taking it doesn't mean I am cured or never feel bad.  I still have days when I want to rip my hair out and scream or lay in bed and do nothing.  The important thing is, though, that I feel better.  I'm not walking around on cloud 9, but I do feel a little more like myself. 

2 comments:

  1. Good for you, Brandi! The only person who can make that decision is you. Every mother wants to do what is best for their child and their family, and I believe that's what you're doing. No one needs to judge you for that. I hope all is well with you, baby, and the rest of the family!

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  2. so glad i found this blog. i have had similar struggles. good for you for getting the medication. it can be such a difficult step. thanks for being so open on here! i try to do the same on my blog but sometimes fall short. i'm looking forward to reading more and i'm goin to add you to my favorite blogs on my page. :) -sarah
    www.babybregelbausum.blogspot.com

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