This decision is not one that I took lightly. I know that there are risks involved. There are risks involved with anything that you take or do during pregnancy. I had to decide which situation could be potentially more dangerous-taking the medication or not. I decided that not taking medication would cause a bigger impact and had a higher chance of causing harm to my whole family. I was seriously reaching the point where I was afraid to leave the house. How could that turn into anything good? I know there is no way that situation would be better after I had the baby.
I'm confident that I made the right decision. I would love to be someone who isn't affected by chemical and hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy. I'm not, though. I'm just glad that I am now someone who understands that I'm not one of those people and can make the right choices to fix it. I am no longer someone who is afraid to be a person with problems or to ask for help.
Medications for anxiety/depression aren't magic cure all pills. I'm not walking around with a permanent smile fixed to my face. Taking it doesn't mean I am cured or never feel bad. I still have days when I want to rip my hair out and scream or lay in bed and do nothing. The important thing is, though, that I feel better. I'm not walking around on cloud 9, but I do feel a little more like myself.