August 16, 2011

The Space Between

circa 2007

This morning, I was woken by the sound of Corrina giggling.  It was such a nice sound to hear, though kind of foreign these days.  It was a happy laugh, sincere.  It was 6:30.  I wanted to go see what was so funny so early in the morning, to join in the giggling, but I didn't.  I knew that the laughter would stop when I walked in the room.  I knew that when I left her room, she would probably be mad or crying or both and I would feel lost, confused and guilty.  It almost always ends that way these days. 

Georgia wrapped her arms around my neck and Stella grabbed my hand.  I remembered that it wasn't that long ago when Corrina knew that she needed me and wanted me.  It wasn't that long ago when I was sure what was best for her and knew that I would be able to give it to her.  It wasn't that long ago when this chasm between us was nonexistent.

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweetie...I am so sorry you are going through this. I remember those will have to believe me when I say it does get better.


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