Bedsharing has Ruined Me (Physically and Emotionally)

I don't hide the fact that we are a bed sharing family.  I sleep in the same room with 3 of the girls and share a bed with 2 of them.  Sometimes, Corrina joins us and we all sleep in the "girl's dormitory".  I wouldn't trade this time for anything.  I love being there when they need me.  I love when George wraps her arms around my neck, when Stella grabs my finger with her soft little hand, when Kennedy sits up in her bed just to see if I'm still there.  There is a downside to sharing a bed, though.  Sleeping between George and Stella makes it difficult for me to get truly comfortable.  Even though my heart is in it 100%, my neck is not.  My neck hurts and I have had a headache for weeks.   I seriously need to see a chiropractor.

Next week, I'm heading to Florida to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday.  I will have 3 whole nights to sleep alone and give my tired neck the rest it needs.  As good as this sounds, in theory, I have learned that I have been ruined by co-sleeping.  Sure, sleeping alone for a night sounds like a dream, but three?  It's not all it's cracked up to be.  It's cold, there's so much room to move around, there are no hugs and kisses.  I'm sure waking up to use a breast pump will not be as sweet as nursing Stella (and myself) back to sleep.

I'm looking forward to my trip, to seeing my mom, having some fun with my best friend and celebrating 50 with mom and my aunt.  I'm kind of starting to panic about leaving my family, though.  I'm sure that we'll all make it through the 4 days and 3 nights just fine, but there will be a little hole in my heart and in my bed while I'm away.