October 25, 2011

they call me mom

i suppose it comes quietly.  change, that is.  you can fight and fight and fight to change and it always feels like you're getting nowhere.  one morning, long after you've given up the fight, you wake up and realize you're different.  there was no ah-ha! moment.  there was no party to celebrate it.  actually, it probably won't even be noticed or spoken of.  you're different.  maybe others noticed long before you do.  maybe most of the change happens in your head, the way you think so you know long before anyone else.  i guess it doesn't really matter. 

when change comes, things become clearer.  the approval you've so desperately wanted your whole life doesn't matter anymore.  more than that, you can finally see why it doesn't matter anymore and why you will never get it.  people are different.  two people who value different things will probably never approve of each other.  neither one will ever change.  there are a million things and differences i could point out, but honestly, it doesn't matter.  we can accept things without approving of them, right?

these girls...each one so amazing.  they deserve everything good in this world.  they deserve hugs and kisses, kind words, unconditional love.  they get it.  they also deserve better meals, permission slips that are always signed and never late.  they deserve more play and less waiting.  i try.  they call me mom.  it's funny how the only approval i need comes from 4 people whose opinion isn't considered important by some.  it's funny how the whole world has shrunk to the size of an 1100 square foot house.  they call me mom.  there is so much meaning, so many expectations, so much importance in that tiny little sentence.

writing freely and linking up with heather



4 comments:

  1. Being called mom is immeasurable. There's only ONE mom. Just one. And you're it. That's huge.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only certainties in life are birth & death. Everything else changes, quickly or slowly. I love the feeling of enoughness in this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love this. Truly.

    So many gems about change and growth and motherhood.

    Sigh-worthy, really.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So true - people talk about change when you become a mother but you never quite understand it till it happens.

    ReplyDelete

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