October 31, 2012

when baby elephants attack

so, nick jr has changed their nightly programming to include programs for "adults only" called nick mom. i had a rare opportunity last night to tune in and see what it was about. i have to say that i was not impressed at all.

i spend a fair amount making jokes about motherhood on my facebook page. i am capable of laughing at myself, my children and the situations we find ourselves in. there has to be a place to draw the line, though. some things are just not funny.

i think this crosses that line.
When Baby Elephants Attack | Videos We Heart | Watch NickMom Videos: Watch the video Tantrum TV - When Baby Elephants Attack on nickmom.

i'm not sure where to start with this.  children in emotional distress are not amusing.  is it funny to watch anyone in emotional distress?  i can think of a few things a parent should do in this situation and recording the tantrum and giggling is not on that list. 

nickelodeon should cherish children and their feelings.  afterall, it is the children that have built their channel, their shows and their products.  where would you be without children, nickelodeon? 

most mothers spend their days trying to diffuse tantrums.  why does nick think that mothers would would want to watch even 1 minute of a tantrum as entertainment? 

perhaps nick jr should stick to entertaining children and forget about trying to entertain mothers.

October 25, 2012

if it were offered...

today, I wouldn't turn down:

a beer
a friend to talk to
a nap
a meal cooked by someone other than me
a compliment
a car wash
a hug
help of any kind
a good book
a scary movie

September 18, 2012

scary story time

Every year, our church/school holds a harvest festival.  Over the weekend, the girls came home with many small trinkets from playing kiddie games.  The family favorite were some flashing light sticks.  Georgia decided that they would be perfect for "scary story time". 

She told us many frightening tales, the only light in the room coming from the flashlight held under her chin.  The following is one of those tales.  Proceed with caution.

"Once upon a time, there was a graveyard.  A vampire woke up from his nap.  He was hungry.  He stomped around mad, yelling 'where is my food, where is my food'.   So, he sat down and ate the graveyard grass.  He was happy."

Terrifying, I know.  Scared. Me. Senseless.

linking up with heather for just write

September 17, 2012

facebook fixes

Everyday I log onto Facebook to see what's happening in my small little world.  Everyday, I'm amazed by the thought provoking things that others have written.  There are people on my list of friends that I haven't deleted yet because I'm either too lazy or because they're like a horrific accident that I don't want to look at but seem drawn to do so. 

Since I probably won't delete anyone any time soon and I refuse to comment on their status, I feel it would help me tremendously if facebook would add a button along with the "like" or "share".  this way, people know that I'm here"I'm reading what you're saying." "I feel you."  "I understand where you're coming from."   

I'm sure that Facebook wouldn't consider all of my suggestions, but if they would consider even one, my life would be so much easier.  Here are my suggestions (in no particular order):

1. The how were you allowed to have children OR why haven't your children been removed from your care button.

2.  The did you even graduate high school OR did your school use history textbooks from the 1800s button. 

3.  The my 4 year old can type an entire word, why can't you button.

4.  The I'm frightened that someone out there could actually make sense out of that jumbled mess and agree with it button.

5.  The do you really think Jesus reads your facebook page button.

6.  The I'm afraid if I delete you, I will be put on your "list". Therefore, I will keep quiet and occasionally "like" your frightening statuses to ensure my safety button. 

7.  The I'm not requesting full on research backing what you state as truth, but have you ever even googled it button.

8.  The you paid someone to make you look like that and you like it button

9.  The please stop looking through lists of funny statuses and picking one to pass as your own button

10.  The do you really think your wish will come true or a miracle will happen if you click share in 30 seconds button.

What do you think?  What would you add? Are you guilty of any of these? 

August 20, 2012

A whole new game, a whole new set of rules

When Stella was just a tiny baby, I would read  about how challenging it could be to breastfeed a toddler.  I remember thinking that it can't be that difficult.  These women just want to whine about something.  After all, toddlers can't possibly nurse that much and it seemed so much better than the hours and hours I spent sitting around nursing a newborn.  Here I am today, breastfeeding a toddler and longing for the days when I sat comfortably nursing my quiet newborn for hours. 

Toddlers are demanding.  It doesn't matter where we are or what time of day it is, when Stella decides it's milk time, it's milk time.  We can be in the middle of the grocery store, in a restaurant or picking her sisters up from school when she makes that decision.  Once that is decided, she will do anything she can to get it.  This includes (but is not limited to) poking at my chest, pulling my shirt down, pulling my shirt up, screaming, crying, headbutting, and sometimes, she  just tries to chew through my shirt. 

Toddlers are active.  They are busy learning how to do new things with their bodies every day.  They can't be bothered to stop for any reason, not to eat, not to sleep and definitely not to nurse.  I think back to pictures depicting feeding positions for newborns and how simple it was.  Now, it's like a lottery.  I can only guess what kind of position we'll get in and only hope that it's comfortable.  I honestly don't remember ever seeing a picture of a mother nursing with the child's toes in her ear or the baby on her back or hanging from her hair. 

Decision making is not on the list of a toddler's strengths.  They often want to do everything all at once.  Stella will settle in to nurse until something interesting catches her eye and she's off and running.  If I'm lucky, she'll remember to let go before taking off.  However, the moment I try to close up shop, she wants to finish nursing.  The problem doesn't just lie in deciding to nurse or play, it extends to which side she will nurse on.  Discreet nursing has become a thing of the past.  She wants both sides available to her at all times.  I'm seriously starting to think that one side is chocolate and one is vanilla.  Sometimes, she will look around for a third option and get mad when she doesn't find one.   

Stella is the first of my children I have successfully breastfed past 1 month.  I'm proud of myself and for continuing and I know that it's best for her.  There are times (usually when she's upside down with her big toe in my left nostril) that I think "I'm finished.  I can't do this anymore".  The moment always passes as quickly as it came.  I haven't put any thought as to when I will wean Stella.  It would probably be more accurate to say that Stella has given me no hint as to how soon she will wean herself.  Until then, I'll just continue to laugh about feeling like a buffet and a jungle gym.

August 16, 2012

"ME" time

Today is the first day of school. 
Guys, I can tell you how I can't believe my girls are getting so big. 
That is true. 
Corrina is in the 3rd grade.  Wasn't I just in the third grade? 

Kennedy is starting kindergarten.  How? 

Georgia has one more year of pre-k. 

But seriously, I have an hour and a half before I have to pick Georgia up and Stella is sleeping.  I'm watching television.  ME!  I have every intention of reading a book with no pictures when I'm finished with this!

ME time was brought to you today by the letters P and K and by the number 3.  It was made possible by friends like nap time.

August 15, 2012

sometimes, i just don't know

Being the mom of many girls, I feel an extra responsibility to make sure they are confident and kind.  It's difficult sometimes, given that I am not the most confident person.  Just last week I was reduced to feeling like nothing just by being in the same room with a mom wearing more makeup than I wear in a month. 

So, I'm constantly questioning how I'm doing at raising confident girls.  The problem I keep running into is that the answers aren't always clear.

Kennedy and Georgia were playing dolls.  The only boy doll they have is a Batman action figure (which Georgia bought with her own money).  He was the prince.  They were having a hard time deciding which one of the dolls got to dance with him at the ball.  The solution to their problem?  An eating contest.  They sat all dolls down at a table and decided that whoever ate the most the fastest won the dance with the prince.  They all tore into plastic turkeys and vegetables and in the end were all too full to dance.

Another problem I have is that Georgia has recently become very concerned with the size of her chest.  She asks me several times a week when she will get breasts.  This is alarming, coming from a 4 year old.  Her concern, though, stems from the fact that she can't feed babies without them.  She's worried that this will affect her becoming a mother someday. 

I suppose it's never clear whether or not you're doing a good job at raising girls.  Chances are, you won't be present for and will probably never know about the times when your questions are answered.  I hope when that time comes, I will have done a decent job.  In the meantime, here's a great list of 10 things to teach teenage girls.

August 9, 2012


Right now, my house is a complete disaster, but all of the kids are playing and happy so I'm going to let it be.  There will be time to pick up the toys and sweep the floors later.  They keep coming at me with the doctor kit and giving me shots.  I find it funny because none of them have ever had a shot in their life. 

Yesterday, Steve and I snuck out for an impromptu afternoon date.  We went to eat and then we just wasted our time until we had to pick up the kids.  We should have done something fun, something exciting, something...different.  We didn't.  We never do anything different.  I never do anything different. 

There are so many things I want to do, need to do, have to do, but none of them ever get accomplished.  I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and I have no idea how to get out.  I'm just spinning my wheels, not sure if I should go forward or backward. 

I'm so tired of wasting my time.  I want to do something wonderful with every minute.  I want to feel accomplished.   I want to be inspired.  I want to inspire.  I just can't see the starting point. I have no idea how to begin to change.

July 5, 2012


this is my morning. if you switch the oreo for a graham cracker, you could be sitting in my living room. 
i'm covered in cracker goo. it's kind of gross.

i don't think mothers get enough credit for the lengths they go to in order to give their kids the best they can.

June 30, 2012

My Little Rocker

Thursday, Georgia turned 4.  Wednesday, I asked her what she wanted for her bithday.  She said "well, I like Dora and Scooby Doo. Oh, and I like you, so maybe some mom stuff". I was so touched and excited.  I asked her if maybe she'd like a shirt with my picture on it.  She got a huge smile on her face which was followed by a far off look.  I imagine she was picturing herself walking into school or through the grocery store sporting her mommy shirt.  When she came back to reality, she said "well, maybe not".

 I was crushed. 

She got an easel because she's going to be an "art painter" when she grows up. 

We spent the day visiting grandparents, we ate out-TWICE, we had sno cones and went to see Brave.  I was not super excited about going to the movie, but I loved it.  I definitely reccommend it.  It's about a princess and her relationship with-HER MOM!  It was perfect. 

Tomorrow, we're having a party for Georgia.  She is having a spiderman birthday cake.

I love that about her.

June 25, 2012

the heart of a child

my grandmother has cancer.  stage 4 liver cancer.  she's taking an oral chemotherapy drug, which comes with some pretty ugly side effects.  i had to explain to corrina because i didn't want her to be scared if she noticed nana's hair falling out. 

the other day, corrina and i were grocery shopping.  we had just turned the corner to a new aisle when corrina got this look on her face.  she looked as though she had thought of something brilliant, the answer to every question ever asked.  with a finger in the air, she said "i'll be right back" and ran around the corner we just turned.  she came back holding this:

With the most excitement i've heard in her voice in a long time, she said "do you think this could help nana?"

even though everything about this girl screams (sometimes very literally and very loudly) "teenager", it's good to know that her heart still whispers "child".  i wish i didn't need these reminders.
just write

June 21, 2012

going around in circles

Some days, I wish I had a manual on dealing with pubescent girls.  More accurately, how to deal with a pubescent 8 year old.  I try so hard to be understanding and sensitive, but more often than not, I fall short of this.  Honestly, some days I'm not even in the ball park of understanding and sensitive. 

I so badly want my children to be happy, confident and caring.  I want them to know that it's OK to feel whatever they feel, but also that they need to control their emotions.  How can I teach them this if I can't do it myself?  It gets so difficult to listen to my daughter tell me she hates me and constantly spit "what kind of mother are you" at me.  Does she know that I ask myself that a million times a day and don't always like the answer? 

I try to remember that this is not about me.  I try to remember what I was like when I was 13.  I try to remember that she doesn't have friends that she can turn to.  I try to remember that she loves me.  I try to remember that she doesn't mean what she says.  I try to remember that she's confused and probably scared.  I try to remember, but sometimes I fail miserably. 

June 20, 2012

up up up but not out of bed

One of the kids woke up around 3:00 this morning.  She was only awake long enough to wake me up and prevent me from going back to sleep.  As I was laying there, it dawned on me that I should get up, start a load of laundry and clean the bathroom.  Then I wouldn't have to do it today.  It would be like stealing time.  It seemed genius and I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of it before.  That's when it dawned on me: I AM LAYING IN BED AT 3AM FANTASIZING ABOUT CLEANING MY TOILET!  This, my friends, is what having children does to you. 

Once I realized that I have reached a level of sad you can never return from, I opted to not clean the bathroom or start laundry.  Instead, I stared at the ceiling and quietly enjoyed this song that has been stuck in my head for a couple days. 

June 7, 2012


I got my camera out yesterday, something I don't seem to do much of these days.  Kind of like blogging, picture taking has gotten pushed aside in an effort to be completely present in
as many moments as I can. 

3 weeks into summer vacation and we're doing all we can to enjoy every minute. 

The messier, the better!

May 24, 2012

balancing act

I am with my children 24 hours a day.  I go to bed with them and wake up with them.  I am available for them at all times.  I am not complaining.  I am just stating a fact.  I chose this.  It was my decision to parent this way.  My problem is that I have never been able to find a balance.  Steve and I are working on having fairly regular nights out together (meaning at least once a month at this point).  My problem comes with trying to find time for myself. 

The way it is now isn't working for me.  Right now, I just go, go, go until I can't go anymore.  When I start to get irritable and crack, I leave for the evening.  I hate doing things this way.  I usually spend one evening a week away.  I don't make plans with friends because I never know when I'm going to reach my limit and feel that I'm not allowed to go somewhere alone twice in the same week. 

I need to find something I can do on a regular basis, maybe an hour a day.  I need to find something that makes me feel fulfilled.  My goal is to get rid of the days when burn out sets in, when I feel like I just need to get away from this house and the people in it.  I need be even-tempered and not have times when I feel like I'm going to lose it if one more person needs to have their nose wiped or spills their lunch on the floor.   

May 19, 2012

i don't push

Stella turned one on April 26.  Everyone seems to think that the minute she turned 1, she should be walking and talking like she's 2.  I've been told several times over the last month that developmentally, she is falling behind (though not by her doctor, mostly just family members). 

I remember when Corrina was a baby, I was constantly reading about monthly milestones and pushing to make sure she did things early.  This is yet another way my parenting has changed over the years.  I have realized that there are more important things than being able to tell another mom that my 9 month old can walk or my 1 year old knows all of her ABC's. 

It is inevitable that most babies will learn to walk and learn to talk.  I feel that it's important to let them do this in their own time.  Our children are only babies for such a short time.  Why try to rush them out of that stage so quickly?  When they are older, we look back and long for the time when they were babies, when we were responsible for taking care of all their needs and being the center of their universe. 

Stella is almost 13 months old.  She does not crawl.  She has never liked laying on her belly.  I could never justify putting her in that position and letting her cry in hopes that she'll teach herself to crawl.  It's not that important.  Georgia never crawled and she managed to learn to walk.  Stella doesn't walk unassisted yet.  I have been told numerous times over the last 6 months that she will never do any of these things if I don't take her out of that "thing" (her sling) and let her get frustrated.  She cruises along the furniture and walls, so I know that she is physically capable of walking when she's ready.  She accomplished these things without giving up her sling time, so I am not worried. 

When she's asked a question, she will point to the answer.  She babbles and says Georgie and ball.  She is able to communicate her wants and needs with me.  I am certain that she is physically capable of hearing and speaking.  She will talk when she's ready. 

This is something I apply to all children, at every age.  They will do things when they're ready.  I'm worried that by pushing them, I'm denying them some pride of their accomplishment and making them think that my love is conditional.  All children are different.  They will all do things in their own time.  Stella will be able to walk before she starts kindergarten.  Georgia will give up her binky before high school.  Kennedy will go potty by herself with the door closed before she gets married and Corrina will ride a bike by herself before she starts college.  These are things I'm certain of. 

May 16, 2012

Searching For Boredom Busters

It's summer vacation time again.  It was 6:30 am when Corrina started complaining about being bored yesterday (you know, day 1).  Since my husband lost his job and my mother no longer lives in Florida, we have no major plans this summer.  This means I have to be at the top of my game and come up with some fun things to do. 

Inspired by this post, we started off with a walk around town and some google eye bombing.  The kids got a big kick out of this.  

We followed it up with a trip to the park.

When we came home, I set them up with pitchers of water, bowls and some kitchen gadgets to "cook" with.  This soon turned into a water fight. 

Day 1 of summer vacation turned out to be pretty fun, despite the early  morning boredom complaints!  Now, there's only like 100 more, right?

May 11, 2012

Limes and Boys Who Sing

what a big week for kennedy!  yesterday she turned five (five!?) and today she graduated from preschool. 

she celebrated her birthday by fighting with her sister, taking a walk to the park and helping me make a cake (purple with yellow icing).  All week, she has insisted on having a hot dog and macaroni and cheese for dinner.  At the last minute yesterday, she decided that she would rather go to the mexican restaurant because "they have limes and boys that sing to you". 

so, today was her last day of school.  it's very hard to believe that she'll be starting kindergarten next year.  wasn't it just yesterday that corrina was starting kindergarten? 

May 10, 2012


oh my.  has it really been more than a month since i've written here?  i've been struggling with issues of living a life online and questioning why i write here.  i think i've resolved my issues and now i'm back!  we have been so busy over the last month.  stella celebrated her first birthday and corrina received her first communion. 

doesn't she look like a little bride.  she's almost as tall as i am now.  she seriously needs to stop growing.

i know everybody says this, but it really doesn't seem possible that stella is 1 already.  this year has been fairly easy.  i don't know if stella is just an easy baby or if i have just relaxed that much.  it's been a good year. 

today is kennedy's birthday.  beth interviews her kids on their birthdays and i kind of like the idea.  kids say some pretty funny and amazing things.  i think i might borrow the idea from her and come back later with an interview from kennedy. 

in the meantime, you can always find me on facebook.  i may even start tweeting again.  it's been a while.  you can also follow me on instagram.

April 5, 2012

2 Years

Two years ago, I started a blog.  I had no idea what I was going to do with it.  Honestly, I still don't.  I love my little space here.  I love having a place to go when my cup is running over.  Sometimes I wish I could write more about things without worrying about offending anyone or being misunderstood, but as it is, I'm pretty happy with my space. 

I have changed a lot over the last 2 years and I think this blog has too.  I also think you'll be seeing pretty big changes to it in the near future...just as soon as I figure out what I want those changes to be.  For now, though, I've put together a list of some of my favorite posts over the last 2 years.  Thank you for reading.


They Call Me Mom

A Tribute to My Husband

Piecing It Together


The House That Love Built

Truths About Motherhood

10 Thoughts Better Left Unsaid

April 3, 2012

happiness is a warm sun

Spring is here!

The weather has been unbelievably warm

We are LOVING it!

...And eachother.

March 8, 2012

these boots were made for...

There are some battles I don't even enter because I know that I won't win.  One of these is clothing, especially when it comes to Georgia.  Corrina, I try to help because she's old enough to be more fashion conscious (though she rarely listens to me).  Kennedy is pretty good at putting an outfit together.  Georgia picks out individual pieces and wears them whether they go together or not.

 It's something that I kind of love about her.  I also love that she has the attitude to back up her choices.  I will never have to worry about her coming home from school crying because someone made fun of her clothes.  If someone makes fun of her, she'd probably just step on their toes with the boots she insists on wearing EVERY day.

I made this skirt yesterday as a practice, just to see if I can do it kind of thing and she fell in love with it.  Mistakes and all.  It was hard to get it off of her last night to wash it.


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