May 24, 2012

balancing act

I am with my children 24 hours a day.  I go to bed with them and wake up with them.  I am available for them at all times.  I am not complaining.  I am just stating a fact.  I chose this.  It was my decision to parent this way.  My problem is that I have never been able to find a balance.  Steve and I are working on having fairly regular nights out together (meaning at least once a month at this point).  My problem comes with trying to find time for myself. 

The way it is now isn't working for me.  Right now, I just go, go, go until I can't go anymore.  When I start to get irritable and crack, I leave for the evening.  I hate doing things this way.  I usually spend one evening a week away.  I don't make plans with friends because I never know when I'm going to reach my limit and feel that I'm not allowed to go somewhere alone twice in the same week. 

I need to find something I can do on a regular basis, maybe an hour a day.  I need to find something that makes me feel fulfilled.  My goal is to get rid of the days when burn out sets in, when I feel like I just need to get away from this house and the people in it.  I need be even-tempered and not have times when I feel like I'm going to lose it if one more person needs to have their nose wiped or spills their lunch on the floor.   

May 19, 2012

i don't push

Stella turned one on April 26.  Everyone seems to think that the minute she turned 1, she should be walking and talking like she's 2.  I've been told several times over the last month that developmentally, she is falling behind (though not by her doctor, mostly just family members). 

I remember when Corrina was a baby, I was constantly reading about monthly milestones and pushing to make sure she did things early.  This is yet another way my parenting has changed over the years.  I have realized that there are more important things than being able to tell another mom that my 9 month old can walk or my 1 year old knows all of her ABC's. 

It is inevitable that most babies will learn to walk and learn to talk.  I feel that it's important to let them do this in their own time.  Our children are only babies for such a short time.  Why try to rush them out of that stage so quickly?  When they are older, we look back and long for the time when they were babies, when we were responsible for taking care of all their needs and being the center of their universe. 

Stella is almost 13 months old.  She does not crawl.  She has never liked laying on her belly.  I could never justify putting her in that position and letting her cry in hopes that she'll teach herself to crawl.  It's not that important.  Georgia never crawled and she managed to learn to walk.  Stella doesn't walk unassisted yet.  I have been told numerous times over the last 6 months that she will never do any of these things if I don't take her out of that "thing" (her sling) and let her get frustrated.  She cruises along the furniture and walls, so I know that she is physically capable of walking when she's ready.  She accomplished these things without giving up her sling time, so I am not worried. 

When she's asked a question, she will point to the answer.  She babbles and says Georgie and ball.  She is able to communicate her wants and needs with me.  I am certain that she is physically capable of hearing and speaking.  She will talk when she's ready. 

This is something I apply to all children, at every age.  They will do things when they're ready.  I'm worried that by pushing them, I'm denying them some pride of their accomplishment and making them think that my love is conditional.  All children are different.  They will all do things in their own time.  Stella will be able to walk before she starts kindergarten.  Georgia will give up her binky before high school.  Kennedy will go potty by herself with the door closed before she gets married and Corrina will ride a bike by herself before she starts college.  These are things I'm certain of. 

May 16, 2012

Searching For Boredom Busters

It's summer vacation time again.  It was 6:30 am when Corrina started complaining about being bored yesterday (you know, day 1).  Since my husband lost his job and my mother no longer lives in Florida, we have no major plans this summer.  This means I have to be at the top of my game and come up with some fun things to do. 

Inspired by this post, we started off with a walk around town and some google eye bombing.  The kids got a big kick out of this.  

We followed it up with a trip to the park.


When we came home, I set them up with pitchers of water, bowls and some kitchen gadgets to "cook" with.  This soon turned into a water fight. 


Day 1 of summer vacation turned out to be pretty fun, despite the early  morning boredom complaints!  Now, there's only like 100 more, right?




May 11, 2012

Limes and Boys Who Sing

what a big week for kennedy!  yesterday she turned five (five!?) and today she graduated from preschool. 


she celebrated her birthday by fighting with her sister, taking a walk to the park and helping me make a cake (purple with yellow icing).  All week, she has insisted on having a hot dog and macaroni and cheese for dinner.  At the last minute yesterday, she decided that she would rather go to the mexican restaurant because "they have limes and boys that sing to you". 


so, today was her last day of school.  it's very hard to believe that she'll be starting kindergarten next year.  wasn't it just yesterday that corrina was starting kindergarten? 



May 10, 2012

resolved

oh my.  has it really been more than a month since i've written here?  i've been struggling with issues of living a life online and questioning why i write here.  i think i've resolved my issues and now i'm back!  we have been so busy over the last month.  stella celebrated her first birthday and corrina received her first communion. 

doesn't she look like a little bride.  she's almost as tall as i am now.  she seriously needs to stop growing.

i know everybody says this, but it really doesn't seem possible that stella is 1 already.  this year has been fairly easy.  i don't know if stella is just an easy baby or if i have just relaxed that much.  it's been a good year. 

today is kennedy's birthday.  beth interviews her kids on their birthdays and i kind of like the idea.  kids say some pretty funny and amazing things.  i think i might borrow the idea from her and come back later with an interview from kennedy. 

in the meantime, you can always find me on facebook.  i may even start tweeting again.  it's been a while.  you can also follow me on instagram.


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