June 30, 2012

My Little Rocker

Thursday, Georgia turned 4.  Wednesday, I asked her what she wanted for her bithday.  She said "well, I like Dora and Scooby Doo. Oh, and I like you, so maybe some mom stuff". I was so touched and excited.  I asked her if maybe she'd like a shirt with my picture on it.  She got a huge smile on her face which was followed by a far off look.  I imagine she was picturing herself walking into school or through the grocery store sporting her mommy shirt.  When she came back to reality, she said "well, maybe not".

 I was crushed. 

She got an easel because she's going to be an "art painter" when she grows up. 

We spent the day visiting grandparents, we ate out-TWICE, we had sno cones and went to see Brave.  I was not super excited about going to the movie, but I loved it.  I definitely reccommend it.  It's about a princess and her relationship with-HER MOM!  It was perfect. 

Tomorrow, we're having a party for Georgia.  She is having a spiderman birthday cake.

I love that about her.





June 25, 2012

the heart of a child

my grandmother has cancer.  stage 4 liver cancer.  she's taking an oral chemotherapy drug, which comes with some pretty ugly side effects.  i had to explain to corrina because i didn't want her to be scared if she noticed nana's hair falling out. 

the other day, corrina and i were grocery shopping.  we had just turned the corner to a new aisle when corrina got this look on her face.  she looked as though she had thought of something brilliant, the answer to every question ever asked.  with a finger in the air, she said "i'll be right back" and ran around the corner we just turned.  she came back holding this:



With the most excitement i've heard in her voice in a long time, she said "do you think this could help nana?"

even though everything about this girl screams (sometimes very literally and very loudly) "teenager", it's good to know that her heart still whispers "child".  i wish i didn't need these reminders.
just write


June 21, 2012

going around in circles

Some days, I wish I had a manual on dealing with pubescent girls.  More accurately, how to deal with a pubescent 8 year old.  I try so hard to be understanding and sensitive, but more often than not, I fall short of this.  Honestly, some days I'm not even in the ball park of understanding and sensitive. 

I so badly want my children to be happy, confident and caring.  I want them to know that it's OK to feel whatever they feel, but also that they need to control their emotions.  How can I teach them this if I can't do it myself?  It gets so difficult to listen to my daughter tell me she hates me and constantly spit "what kind of mother are you" at me.  Does she know that I ask myself that a million times a day and don't always like the answer? 

I try to remember that this is not about me.  I try to remember what I was like when I was 13.  I try to remember that she doesn't have friends that she can turn to.  I try to remember that she loves me.  I try to remember that she doesn't mean what she says.  I try to remember that she's confused and probably scared.  I try to remember, but sometimes I fail miserably. 

June 20, 2012

up up up but not out of bed

One of the kids woke up around 3:00 this morning.  She was only awake long enough to wake me up and prevent me from going back to sleep.  As I was laying there, it dawned on me that I should get up, start a load of laundry and clean the bathroom.  Then I wouldn't have to do it today.  It would be like stealing time.  It seemed genius and I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of it before.  That's when it dawned on me: I AM LAYING IN BED AT 3AM FANTASIZING ABOUT CLEANING MY TOILET!  This, my friends, is what having children does to you. 

Once I realized that I have reached a level of sad you can never return from, I opted to not clean the bathroom or start laundry.  Instead, I stared at the ceiling and quietly enjoyed this song that has been stuck in my head for a couple days. 


June 7, 2012

Present

I got my camera out yesterday, something I don't seem to do much of these days.  Kind of like blogging, picture taking has gotten pushed aside in an effort to be completely present in
as many moments as I can. 

3 weeks into summer vacation and we're doing all we can to enjoy every minute. 



The messier, the better!


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