June 21, 2012

going around in circles

Some days, I wish I had a manual on dealing with pubescent girls.  More accurately, how to deal with a pubescent 8 year old.  I try so hard to be understanding and sensitive, but more often than not, I fall short of this.  Honestly, some days I'm not even in the ball park of understanding and sensitive. 

I so badly want my children to be happy, confident and caring.  I want them to know that it's OK to feel whatever they feel, but also that they need to control their emotions.  How can I teach them this if I can't do it myself?  It gets so difficult to listen to my daughter tell me she hates me and constantly spit "what kind of mother are you" at me.  Does she know that I ask myself that a million times a day and don't always like the answer? 

I try to remember that this is not about me.  I try to remember what I was like when I was 13.  I try to remember that she doesn't have friends that she can turn to.  I try to remember that she loves me.  I try to remember that she doesn't mean what she says.  I try to remember that she's confused and probably scared.  I try to remember, but sometimes I fail miserably. 

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