Spinning

Right now, my house is a complete disaster, but all of the kids are playing and happy so I'm going to let it be.  There will be time to pick up the toys and sweep the floors later.  They keep coming at me with the doctor kit and giving me shots.  I find it funny because none of them have ever had a shot in their life. 

Yesterday, Steve and I snuck out for an impromptu afternoon date.  We went to eat and then we just wasted our time until we had to pick up the kids.  We should have done something fun, something exciting, something...different.  We didn't.  We never do anything different.  I never do anything different. 

There are so many things I want to do, need to do, have to do, but none of them ever get accomplished.  I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and I have no idea how to get out.  I'm just spinning my wheels, not sure if I should go forward or backward. 

I'm so tired of wasting my time.  I want to do something wonderful with every minute.  I want to feel accomplished.   I want to be inspired.  I want to inspire.  I just can't see the starting point. I have no idea how to begin to change.